I read a quote yesterday that said,

“Go 24 hours without complaining, not even once.  Then watch how your life changes.”

That’s a pretty big challenge and a pretty bold promise.  Do you think you could do it?  Or better yet, would you even want to?  I’m sure on the surface most of us would immediately say yes to both.  Yes, I can go 24 hours with zero complaints and yes, of course I want to.  It doesn’t sound that hard, right?  Now actually stop and think about your day, the one just had or the one your in the midst of now.  Have you complained?  How many times?  And about what?  Now hold that thought…

…and let me back up a second.  You might be thinking it’s odd to ask if you would want to stop complaining for a day.  But for some people, complaining is their “thing,” their story, their persona. And I bet if you take a second, you know one of these people.  They’ve made a career out of cataloging every event in the form of one complaint or another.  And they aren’t necessarily angry or gloomy people, they can be very engaging, witty and most often genuinely funny.  But they possess a way of viewing everything in the negative, no matter how comical, and aren’t really interested in giving up their schtick, because then who would they be?  See, now you know who I’m talking about! And you also probably know they never seem to have any shortage of material, right?  Funny how that plays out for them if you stop and think about it.

But here, I’m not necessarily talking about them, I’m taking about everyone out there like me who never would have guessed how hard this actually is, to go 24 hours without a single complaint, out loud or in even your head, because there is no difference really.  So, that means no cursing out your too hot coffee, no suggestive hand signals on the way to work, no loud words to your dog who won’t promptly pee and no under the breath remarks to your hubby over dirty zippy cups.  And this is all before you even make it to work!  But the good news here, is that even trying, taking a solid swing at being complaint free every day can still change your life.  I say so becauseI know so.

Mountains have shifted in my world by  intentionally dropping the negativity.  Which is why yesterday, reading the quote I paused and even cringed a little.  I paused because like I said, I know how hard it is to literally not complain about anything for an entire day, I’ve  barely managed to do it a day or two in 3 months and I’ve been consciously trying.  And I cringed because the more I work on myself and changing my life, the more aware I am of just how much work is still left to do.  And the number one thing you can do to alter your reality is to change your energy or your vibration — or whatever term you are comfortable calling it.  Because to be honest, I don’t think most people, including my former self, realize just how much we really do complain and what signals we are sending every time we whine.

“And let’s face it, complaining is just the adult version of whining, and I tell my kids everyday, whining will get you no where.”

Simply put, complaining, or whining, is just part of who we are and a very basic form of communication and even entertainment — but it’s doing us in.  Before I started watching my thoughts and intentionally placing my focus on positive things, I didn’t view the glass half empty.  I always tried to look for the bright side, gave people the benefit of the doubt and generally felt good about myself and my life.  So I would have said I was doing pretty good.  But now, after taking a more concentrated approach to my thoughts, it’s been amazing to discover where exactly I’m slipping, and it isn’t with the obvious complaints about my day.

I say this because I think it’s easy (for the most part) to stop the blatant complaining.  You know, the really obvious complaints that generate negativity you can feel in your gut or in your beating chest.  Those negative feelings tell you, “Hey!  This is bad!”  And unless you’re just one of those really angry people, I m guessing you could go a day without getting seriously riled up and blatantly complaining.  Easy peasy.  But what’s difficult are the ambushes.  And I call them an ambush because I’ve found this is where I trip up and I’m not even the one actively complaining, I simply get sucked in by someone else’s complaints or stories.  And in many instances I want to either validate them and in turn complain right along with them, or I want to help them see the error of their ways and end up complaining about the opposite.  Either way, I end up whining too.

So you see, negativity is a sneaky little sucker.   And it takes real practice to learn to recognize those situations and then figure out what to say when your friend finishes their novella and pauses for a response.  It’s tricky but true, for every negative response, there is a positive way of saying things.  Just about every parenting book I’ve ready says this too, try not to say no or don’t, those are negative.  Try and offer a positive response.  For example, instead of saying, don’t snatch that from your brother (which I say more than I care to admit and hence my daily failure), say “here’s a pile of toys anyone can play with now, let’s let Oliver have that back.”  Now, don’t get me wrong, my house is not suddenly Switzerland and generally there are no peace summits going on, but I do believe I am setting them up to problem solve and communicate better in the long run.  And as for the short dash, I know for sure, the less “no’s and don’ts” they hear,  the more they pay attention, however slight.  So when you are ambushed by your friends or family, who most likely mean no harm, just try and find the words to get your point across in a positive manner.  And keep at it, it’s not what your brain or your tongue is used to doing, but you’ll become fluent it you make it a habit.

And if you aren’t being ambushed, and maybe it’s you doing the complaining and you don’t even know it, well, now’s your chance to to put this little theory to the test and rid yourself of some serious self sabotage.  But you have to be honest with yourself first and become more self aware of what comes out of that pretty little mouth of yours.  Because maybe you are guilty of passively complaining while engaged in a download of the days events, or maybe you’re just reciting a story, or explaining yourself to someone and you don’t even realize every other sentence is laced with complaints.   We all know one of these people too, the one who would never believe they actually complain, a lot, and baulks at the very notion.  Could that be you, just maybe?

I’m telling you, complaining happens more than you think. So if you can, start to think about it more, or mind your mind as they say.  Because what you focus on most is the energy being returned to you.  If you complain, what will show up in your life are more things to complain about, without fail.  Which brings me back to that thought I asked you to hold.  What have you complained about today or even yesterday?  I bet some of those things you complained about have a funny little way of being things you complain about often, right?  See how this works?

So try, just try and see if you can do it, spend an entire day complain free.  And then keep trying, every day.  Things will start shifting.  Because every time you catch yourself, that’s one less negative outcome you’ll be complaining about tomorrow.