It happens every day without fail to most of us.  Someone or some thing takes a crap on your happy day.  And I’m not talking in the literal sense for all the moms out there, although knowing I ate poop while wiping a chubby butt on my birthday back in April definitely qualifies here.  I’m talking about the intentional poppers, the ones who just can’t stand to see you happy and the unintentional ones alike.  Crap happens.  And it has the ability flush your day down the toilet.  And often its hard to recover, set yourself straight and get out of the gutter.  So when my friends started calling me for advice, knowing I’m paying close attention to the choice to live happy in just about every scenario,  I told them big or small, the answer can be found in the list below.

But before you move on to the list, I want to first add this teensy-weensy little disclaimer.  There is no list. There are not 10 ways or 2 ways or 20 ways to get out of funky town.   Yes I know you can see them down there, but truth be told 2-10 only exist when your upset. Or hormonal, or hungry or tired or pregnant.  There is only one way to be happy and only one will ever really exist, and it comes from choosing to be.  It can be a hard re-set or a subtle release over time.  But no matter what the issue or problem, the only way to feel better is to choose to do so.  You can say choose happy, choose love, choose compassion, forgiveness, choose yourself, whatever.  My point is, it’s a choice to stay where you are or a choice to move to a better state, happy.

This logic however falls flat when people are upset, they tend to want to “talk” more than “choose happy.”  And 45 days ago, I was as guilty as they get.  It’s hard to realize or accept it’s that simple because the last thing you want to do is feel worse or heaven forbid take responsibility.  So use the 10 points below as “talking points” and look at them more as guidance to identifying what’s stopping you from choosing happy and maybe then it will be easier to do the one thing to make it all go away.

1. Understand and know that happiness is a choice, your choice.  No one can make you happy or take it away from you, it comes from within you.  So you can either choose to be upset or choose happy.  Being upset is a perception you hold about the situation, don’t let it own you.  

2.  Recognize you did this.  That you are here, in this moment because of your past crappiness, what you put out there, you got back and are experiencing in the now.  Do you really want even more of this crap?  This little law of the universe is usually what stops me in my tracks, because the answer is no!  And 9 times out of 10, the situation isn’t worth one more negative thought. 

3.  Ask yourself why your upset in the first place.  Why couldn’t you let this roll off?  The answer can be anything from hunger to harbored resentment to validation.  So if you can’t turn the switch, and be happy, the answer here can be the first step closer.

4. Give people the benefit of the doubt, don’t make assumptions about anything or anyone.  I’ve always been good at this one.  If someone else made you upset, it’s totally possible they are having a worse day than you.  How do I know that they didn’t just lose a friend, or their dog, or maybe they have a dentist appointment.  You just don’t know, so take off your sensitive sandals, maybe they are just having a rough one.  We all have.

5.   Own up to your role in the situation.  If you are constantly brought down by someone, don’t try and explain them, explain yourself.  If you are questioning why this situation keeps happening, ask yourself.  Why do you keep hanging around negative people or get stuck in the same bad scenarios.  That’s all you.  Do you need to be validated?  Do you obsess over it, so much so that it reappears?  You’ll never be happy if you keep telling yourself everything is “their” fault.

6.  Calm down, walk away and find a quiet place.  And stay there until you have control of your thoughts.  Remember thoughts become things, negative thoughts create more negative things.  if you Whatever you are feeling breath until it’s gone.  And if you have to fake happy, then fake it until you are.  You cannot change the present, only the future.  So remove yourself, be still and get happy.  A change of scenery may be all it takes.

7.  Remember what your mamma taught you:

  1. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
  2. Don’t beat a dead horse
  3. Don’t have the last word or the last laugh.

Give up forcing people to agree with you or come around to you and stop trying to prove you are right or make sure to get the point drilled in.  In ten minutes, or tomorrow, will it still matter who was right?  Be happy, not right.

8.  Look for the lessons in your gut.   Bad things feel bad.  Good things feel good.  If your funk is deep, this is worth while.  If you merely ate some poop, well that’s easy.  Don’t try and get your hair out of your mouth while changing the diaper.  But to do this with any meaning or success, you have to take responsibility for yourself and your life.  Full responsibility.  Things don’t happen to you, they happen because of you. And whatever is happening currently is exactly what you believe you deserve.

9.  Be pro active.  Do something positive or drop it.  Clean the slate, for reals.  Forgive first.  Be kinder than think you can.  Forgive.  Be patient, be flexible.  And this is what you will be rewarded with, more kindness, more happy.

10.  If  all else fails, watch this:bonk

In the end, it’s always a choice and whatever is happening to you is because of you.  These are YOUR feelings.  YOU decide what they are and what they will be.  So get out of your own way, quiet your ego and simply be happy.

There are tons of ways to get out of a funky mood and what makes people happy is as unique to you as it is to me.  So I’m not going to say listen to music or fly a kite, maybe you have a migraine and are afraid of the wind (see that, no assumptions people).  But what I will say, is that it sure helps to know what does elevate your mood so you have some go-to options to make the choice easier.

Oh, and the reason Sebastian is crying in this photo (taken on Mother’s Day 2013), I wouldn’t let him climb into a dumpster.  Ha!